Jack and Jill’s Story: Introverts versus Extroverts

The Story

Jack is quiet, reserved, and a loner. He has a few close friends. He hates being the center of attention, and as much as possible, he will avoid attracting too much attention. When he's with his friends, he is always the listener. He is more comfortable when he's with a couple of friends or when he is alone. He doesn't want to be in big groups; it tires him to talk a lot. He's not much of a party-goer, although he will go to parties if he has to. He prefers to stay at home and read some good novels

Jill is very different from Jack. She is very outgoing. She likes parties, where she will always tell stories that will amuse other people. Because of it, she's always the center of attention, and she loves it. She is very friendly. She talks a lot and doesn't seem to run out of topics. She is very people-oriented. As long as there are people around, she's happy. Being alone drives her nuts. That's why she is rarely at home. She never seems to get tired of socializing.

One day, Jack and Jill met at a common friend's birthday party. They clicked. Jill talks, and Jack listens. Jack admires Jill's outgoingness, and Jill loves Jack’s quietness. They started going out and after a few years, they got married.

You may ask me who Jack and Jill are, or if I am Jill, or if I know them. I'm not Jill, and I do not know them. I invented them (except for their names, which I obviously got from the nursery rhyme). But I know a lot of people who are like them. They're everywhere. Jack represents the Introverts, whereas Jill represents the Extroverts.

Who are the Introverts?

Introverts are those people who are usually described as quiet, reserved, a loner, and a listener. Just think of Jack. He is a good example of Introvert. Introverts have low energy level. Their energy is more inward rather than outward. They tend to reflect a lot. Socializing can be tiring, as well as attending different events which require a lot of socializing. That could be the reason why they prefer to stay at home or spend their time with a few friends.

What Introverts are Not

Introverts are not necessarily shy. In order to understand this, let me give you a definition of shyness. According to Wikipedia, shyness is "a social psychology term used to describe the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness experienced when a person is in proximity to, approaching, or being approached by other people, especially in new situations or with unfamiliar people." There could be a lot of Introverts who are shy, but not all shy people are Introverts. Notice that I did not described Jack as shy, because he could approach people without feeling awkward. He doesn't sweat or stutter when approached by strangers. He is not afraid of parties; that's why he attended that birthday party where he met his future wife. He simply finds socializing exhausting.

Who are the Extroverts?

Extroverts are people with high energy level. Their energy is more outward than inward. They tend to be talkative and outgoing like Jill. They prefer to be with people, and they find socializing with people "relaxing." They tend to like being the center of attention.

What Extroverts are Not

Just like Introverts are usually associated with shyness, Extroverts are associated with good social skills. Since they're always with people, we may think that they should have good social skills, which is not the case. Not all Extroverts possess people skills. People skills are developed through time, and Introverts may learn it, too. Think of those outgoing people you know. Not all of them are actually good with people. In contrast, some Introverts you know might even be better with people.

Extroversion and Introversion

There's no hard and fast rule in determining whether a person is an Extrovert or an Introvert. Everyone is a mixture of both. These terms were created by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung to help us understand and appreciate people who are different from us. Picture a straight line. At the left side is Introversion and at the right is Extroversion. We fall somewhere between the line. No individual is a pure Introvert or Extrovert (but there are extremes). Some people may be hard to identify, probably because they are near the middle of the line.

Lessons

I hope this hub has given you a better understanding of yourself and the people around you. Each of us is unique and special. Don't be upset if you're a little different from others; and don't regard others as weird if they're different. Just remember, we need both types of people. Imagine our world filled with Extroverts only, we'll all want to talk and to be the center of attention. We'll definitely explode. In contrast, if everyone is an Introvert, our world will indeed be a lot lonelier without our Extroverted friends. Just remember about Jack and Jill. Both of them are different, but they end up being married, because by being different, they complete each other.

© 2011 cheerfulnuts